Tag Archive for 'emozioni'

Who should train young to deal with emotions?

We know that “you can win by losing if you give it your all.” It is a key concept in the development of an athlete and should be taught from the very first day a boy or girl enters a playing field. On the contrary, we see young people who as soon as they make a mistake become angry with themselves or depressed. We know that this happens because of the conjunction of different reasons:

  • parents often do not recognize the value of effort and think that it only matters to win, so they get angry at their children for their mistakes and would like to take the place of the coach to give them technical guidance,
  • coaches are more focused on teaching technique and do not emotionally coach athletes,
  • young people themselves are unable to express their emotions constructively and lack self-control,
  • social media obsessively push fake but appealing models of success to young people (beauty, fitness, success if you match the rules that influencers propose)

And so we see young tennis players slamming their rackets to the ground after a mistake alternating between angry and depressed moods against themselves or in other sports made one mistake almost quickly follows others, because frustration due to the first mistake dominates in athletes. Changing this way of experiencing defeats and mistakes requires parents and coaches who are more aware that their role includes teaching self-control, working with their children and athletes to change these destructive behaviors.

One certainly does not have to impose our adult solutions to their problems. We need to listen empathetically and not to judge, so that young people feel supported and respected in their states of mind. Only after this stage should we start talking about what could be done differently, giving time for the young people to express their ideas and for us to stimulate their awareness in regard to how they act and identify possible solutions. Acting in this way takes time, and it is often for this reason that adults do not follow this path.

We need to be aware, however, that if we often refrain from intervening, young people will begin to think that their reactions do not interest their parents and coaches, and worse, they will continue to behave negatively toward themselves. If we want our young people to develop the ability to deal effectively and satisfactorily with their daily stresses, we must spend time teaching them how to behave, feel and think in those moments.

Coaching the young emotion

Simeone, manager of Atletico Madrid, said that “you can win by losing if you give it your all.” It is a key concept in the development of an athlete and should be taught from the very first day a boy or girl enters a playing field. On the contrary, we see young people who as soon as they make a mistake become angry with themselves or depressed. We know that this happens because of the conjunction of different reasons:

parents often do not recognize the value of effort and think that it only matters to win, so they get angry at their children for their mistakes and would like to take the place of the coach to give them technical guidance,
coaches are more focused on teaching technique and do not emotionally coach athletes,
young people themselves are unable to express their emotions constructively and lack self-control.
And so we see young tennis players slamming their rackets to the ground after a mistake alternating between angry and depressed moods against themselves or in other sports made one mistake almost quickly follows others, because frustration due to the first mistake dominates in athletes. Changing this way of experiencing defeats and mistakes requires parents and coaches who are more aware that their role includes teaching self-control, working with their children and athletes to change these destructive behaviors.

One certainly does not have to impose our adult solutions to their problems. We need to listen empathetically and not to judge, so that young people feel supported and respected in their states of mind. Only after this stage should we start talking about what could be done differently, giving time for the young people to express their ideas and for us to stimulate their awareness in regard to how they act and identify possible solutions. Acting in this way takes time, and it is often for this reason that adults do not follow this path.

We need to be aware, however, that if we often refrain from intervening, young people will begin to think that their reactions do not interest their parents and coaches, and worse, they will continue to behave negatively toward themselves. If we want our young people to develop the ability to deal effectively and satisfactorily with their daily stresses, we must spend time teaching them how to behave, feel and think in those moments.

Sport is emotion: teach to live them well

Sports is an exciting activity for the guy who has to have his first competition after a period of preparation and is already wondering how it will go, putting his hands out wondering how it will turn out since it has been a while since the last one. It is also for Modici and Neymar, the symbols of two teams, Croatia and Brazil, that came down to penalties to decide who would pass the round. At the end, everyone cried some in joy and some in sorrow.

Sport easily generates emotions, so much so that the stress it brings about is considered a privilege. These are emotions that do not arise from wars, disasters or negative events but from feeling engaged in something that one enjoys doing. Sport is passion, which some manage to turn into a job, but without setting aside the emotions it determines in every person, planetary champion or young person who wants to have fun.

Sport is related to well-being, therefore, it enables the development of many psychological and social skills that should enrich a person’s daily life and not only his or her sports life. To achieve this, sports must be based on the universal values of respect for others and rules, otherwise it becomes cheating or seeking shortcuts to success.

Young people must be taught the value of emotions, explaining to them that they accompany our every thought and action. That it is not wrong to be disappointed or angry about a race gone wrong, indeed negative emotions are a demonstration of our interest in that activity. However, we must also teach them to experience their passions and disappointments constructively. Teach them that when we adults say that it is from mistakes that we learn, we also believe that and do not instead behave in the opposite node, humiliating them because they make mistakes.

Teachers who are parents, coaches and psychologists must provide them with ways to handle the difficulties they encounter and not leave them, instead, alone in understanding what happened and finding solutions.

Emotional coaching for young

Simeone, the coach of Atletico Madrid, after the Champions League final lost stated that “you can win by losing if you give it your all”. It’s a key concept for the development of an athlete and should be taught from the first day a boy or girl enters a playing field. On the contrary, we see young people who, as soon as they make a mistake, become angry with themselves or depressed. We know that this happens for a variety of reasons:

  • parents often don’t recognize the value of commitment and think that only winning matters, so they get angry with their children for their mistakes and would like to take the place of the coach to give him technical directions,
  • coaches are more focused on teaching technique and do not train athletes emotionally,
  • young people themselves are not able to express their emotions in a constructive way and lack self-control.

Therefore, we see young tennis players who slam the racket to the ground after a mistake alternating moods of anger and depression against themselves or in other sports, once a mistake is made, others follow almost quickly, because the athletes are dominated by frustration due to the first mistake. To change this way of living defeats and mistakes we need parents and coaches who are more aware that their role includes teaching self-control, working with their children and athletes to change these destructive behaviors. We certainly don’t need to impose our adult solutions to their problems.

We need to listen empathetically and not to judge, so that young people feel supported and respected in their states of mind. Only after this stage should we begin to talk about what could be done differently, giving the young people time to express their ideas and us time to stimulate their awareness of their way of acting and identify possible solutions. Acting in this way takes time and it is often for this reason that adults do not follow this path. However, we must be aware that if we often fail to intervene, young people will begin to think that their reactions do not interest their parents and coaches and, worse still, they will continue to behave negatively towards themselves. If we want our kids to develop the ability to effectively and satisfactorily manage their daily stresses, we need to spend time teaching them how to behave, feel and think in those moments.

Emotions and thought: The mental game of Napoli-Inter

Matches are often dominated by the emotions experienced by the two teams and the next championship match between Napoli and Inter will certainly be among them. Inter will field its anger generated by the defeat against Milan while Napoli will field its enthusiasm produced by a series of very positive results. The winner will be the one who will be able to better interpret these moods by putting them at the service of the team’s thinking. What are the risks? When anger is not managed, it doesn’t turn into determination, but expresses itself in impulsive actions in which one moves without thinking, like an engine out of revs that expresses its power in an uncontrolled way with the risk of going off the road. Enthusiasm is a feeling that is experienced with pleasure and supports the optimism needed to face these challenges. The risk is to face the game in a superficial way, to show an excessive self-confidence, thus reducing the ability to respond to situations of competitive tension and pressure exerted by the opponent. On Saturday, emotions will be on the field and also on the bench, and they will participate in determining the final result. In order to express their game, teams will have to make use of these states of mind, which will have to be kept under the control of thought, since the latter capacity can integrate in a few tenths of a second the energy generated by emotions and the decision on how to play. So, emotions and thought are the two key words to interpret what will be seen on the pitch.

Djokovic extreme emotions

Novak Djokovich has won Roland Garros:

“I thank the audience for being there. The atmosphere was really electric, wonderful. I am grateful that my staff, my parents, my wife could be here. I think about the last 9 hours of tennis against two great champions like Nadal and Tsitsipas, it was not easy either physically or mentally. They were really hard days, really unforgettable. I had great confidence in myself and in my abilities. It’s a dream come true once again.”

“A pleasure to be here. I imagine what Stefanos is feeling, I know how hard it is to feel when you lose a Slam final. These are the matches where you learn the most, and knowing him and his team I know he will be stronger after this match. I am sure he will win many Slam tournaments in the future, I have great respect for him. The future of tennis is in good hands in Greece.”

Djokovic’s words tell of how much stress there is behind these victories even in someone who is used to these successes and is No.1 in the world ranking.

Even if you are a serial winner, the emotions never leave you and this willingness to continue to live these emotionally extreme situations even after years of success is a further demonstration of the value of this type of athletes. Some would call it resilience, to which I would add the word extreme.

How to coach mentally in this new lockdown phase

We are again experiencing a period of difficulty to train and compete, moreover for many sports these opportunities have been totally cancelled and the athletes are at home or at most in the parks to train themselves only physically.

This situation generates concern and anxiety in everyone and in the athletes the loss of their daily activities and competitions creates even more negative emotions. They run the risk of believing that there is nothing else to do but suffer the present and wait!

There is no bigger mistake than thinking in this way. On your own, however, it is difficult to react to these thoughts that penetrate in the mind.

For this reason I have built a mental training system to regain confidence and control of thoughts and emotions. It is a practical system, composed of exercises that improve personal self-control. It certainly takes time, 30 minutes every day, but it is a training and the results, as for any other skill, can be obtained only with daily practice.

Who wants to receive more information about this system, its duration, activities to do and achievable results can write to this blog and will be contacted.

I suggest to abstain to those who think it will be easy or not time consuming.

Book review: Les champions et leurs émotions

Hubert Ripoll

Les champions et leurs émotions: Comprendre la maîtrise de soi 

Editions Payot & Rivages, Paris, 2019.

On me demande souvent – surtout les journalistes – ce qui, selon moi, rend le mieux compte de ce qu’est un champion. Au tout début de ce questionnement, je me trouvais assez désemparé, car je ne trouvais pas d’explication satisfaisante pour y répondre. La réussite sportive étant plurifactorielle, dire que devenir un champion résulte de la résolution d’une équation à facteurs multiples, et que, ces facteurs interagissant – on ne peut en isoler un seul – ne satisfaisait pas ceux qui, d’une manière générale, rêvent de contenir en un titre ce que vous avez voulu démontrer au cours d’une vie de recherche.

Je ne sais en quelles circonstances, ces quelques mots se sont infiltrés entre mes lèvres : « Endurer pour durer. » Cela ne me parut ni exagéré, ni racoleur, mais évident.

C’est bien cette obstination à durer qui est le dénominateur commun à tous les champions que j’ai rencontrés, et qui rend le mieux compte de leur long cheminement vers l’Olympe.

Quelque temps plus tard, je complétais l’expression par : « Et peut-être réussir » voulant signifier que l’issue du cheminement n’est jamais assurée à ceux qui s’y engagent, et que la réussite dépend plus du chemin qui mène jusqu’à elle que de la volonté délibérée de l’atteindre. C’est ainsi que j’ai avancé cette affirmation : « Endurer pour durer et peut-être réussir » et que j’ai demandé de la commenter.

Les mots des champions coulèrent à flots.

« “Endurer pour durer et peut-être réussir” : ça me plaît. Parce que c’est dur. C’est dur tous les jours de prendre des coups en pleine tronche, et quand vous avez perdu, c’est une immense solitude que vous ressentez le soir dans votre chambre. Ça, personne ne peut comprendre ce que vous ressentez. C’est dur de remettre ça tous les jours, de se sentir brisée, de remettre son masque encore couvert de sueur de la veille. Quand j’ai souffert comme ça parce que j’ai joué avec mes limites, que je me suis surprise à endurer autant que je ne pouvais l’imaginer après vingt ans d’escrime… J’ai enduré ! Je me suis surprise ! Génial ! Et en compétition, la victoire qui suit une défaite a encore meilleur goût. “Tu as vu comme tu étais hier soir, c’était dur cette solitude, impossible de t’endormir à force de refaire le match, t’as vu comment tu es ce soir ! Hier tu pleurais dans ton lit et maintenant tu ris.” Oui ! C’est ça ! Endurer pour durer, pour faire péter le bouchon de champagne. » (Cécilia Berder)

« “Endurer pour durer et peut-être réussir” : ça pourrait s’appliquer à ma carrière, car quand je la regarde, mes victoires sont arrivées très tardivement. J’ai dû effectivement endurer. J’ai eu je ne sais combien d’échecs et il m’a fallu beaucoup bosser. Oui, il m’a fallu endurer pour durer. » (Siraba Dembélé)

« “Endurer pour durer et peut-être réussir” : ne pas se laisser abattre et lutter dans tous les moments difficiles d’une carrière faite de blessures et de défaites, mais toujours se relever pour enfin toucher à son but. La saveur de la victoire tient aussi à ces moments difficiles que l’on dépasse. Il m’a fallu endurer les charges d’entraînement, les matchs… J’ai très vite compris que la réussite ne venait pas sans entraînement. Ça correspondait à la vision de mon père… Toujours s’entraîner, travailler dur. Je me suis entraîné plus dur que les autres. Endurer pour durer, c’était à l’entraînement. J’ai connu le plaisir dans la souffrance. » (Nikola Karabatic)

Souffrances et plaisirs ne sont pas antinomiques pour un sportif qui se destine au haut niveau, car ils font partie de son quotidien. Il y a une forme de souffrance à s’entraîner et un immense plaisir à le faire. Lorsque l’on touche au Graal, les pires souffrances ne sont qu’un souvenir de la détermination que l’on a eue à accomplir son rêve, et la victoire dépose sur les souffrances endurées un baume qui les transforme en douleurs exquises.

La vie d’un sportif de haut niveau est bien plus difficile qu’on ne l’imagine. Ceux qui recherchent à satisfaire leur ego sont en difficulté, car cette satisfaction n’est pas toujours au rendez-vous et lorsqu’ils croient la tenir ses effets sont éphémères. Durer est nécessaire car la consécration est toujours au bout du chemin et endurer est une évidence car le chemin est jonché d’écueils. Quant au « peut-être », il signifie que le chemin compte autant que l’aboutissement et que rien n’est moins sûr que d’en connaître le bout.

Mais comment endurer, tant le chemin est propice au découragement ? Il faut une combinaison d’imaginaire pour éveiller le désir, d’émotion pour l’entretenir et de rationalité pour conduire sûrement l’attelage. Or ces trois facteurs sont difficilement conciliables pour ceux qui ne sont pas équilibrés. L’imaginaire pur mène à la « déréalité » et à l’égarement. L’absolu seul mène à la rigueur et à l’ascèse d’où sont absents le plaisir de faire et la jouissance des sensations. La rationalité pure contraint dans des schémas convenus. La conjonction des trois facteurs constitue l’équation gagnante.

C’est bien ce que nous disent ces champions.

« “Endurer pour durer et peut-être réussir” : endurer, oui, parce qu’il y a des passes difficiles. J’ai toujours été libre de mes choix et je n’ai pas le sentiment d’avoir fait des sacrifices qui vont avec l’idée d’endurer. J’ai été porté par la passion et par la quête de l’excellence. Si on est dans le sacrifice, le “peut-être réussir” est trop lourd à porter parce que le sens repose sur la seule réussite. On se retrouve dans une logique de retour sur investissement le jour J. » (Stéphane Diagana)

« “Endurer pour durer et peut-être réussir” : c’est une bonne définition du sport en général. Il y a une notion de sacrifice et des périodes qui sont dures, telles que d’avoir 20 ans, d’être totalement déconnecté de la jeunesse et de ne pas savoir ce qui va se passer. Mais choisir son chemin. Être libre malgré tout et garder cette liberté. Ne pas rester fixe, s’inventer une vie, être guidé par ses passions… Ce n’est pas toujours facile car les réalités s’imposent et qu’il faut garder les pieds sur terre, mais il faut tracer sa route, rendre la vie plus personnelle, aller vers ce que l’on aime. Les éléments m’ont rendu sage, ils m’ont calmé, il faut les respecter si l’on veut durer et encore durer une fois là-dedans. » (Aurélien Ducroz)

«“Endurer pour durer et peut-être réussir” : c’est évident, pour y arriver et pour rester au plus haut niveau. J’ai constamment eu des objectifs toujours plus hauts, et lorsque j’ai été premier, et que je ne pouvais pas rêver de faire mieux, j’ai rêvé d’être encore plus fort que celui que j’avais été. Au tout début de ma carrière, j’étais souvent barré par un Allemand qui me regardait de haut parce que j’étais le plus jeune. Je n’ai eu de cesse de vouloir le battre et cette rivalité m’a permis de me surpasser. Pour endurer cela, il me fallait des objectifs. Pas pour réussir peut-être, mais pour réussir sûrement. » (Damien Seguin)

Lorsqu’un athlète est en difficulté et que son moteur semble fatigué, ou que des émotions négatives l’embarquent sur une mauvaise pente, il faut comprendre pourquoi le mécanisme du « endurer pour durer » ne fonctionne plus, puis le reconnecter à son imaginaire et à ses valeurs. Cela fait, la route vers son absolu s’éclaircit et le chemin se dégage.

Endurer pour durer exige de prendre son temps, et si l’objectif premier n’est pas d’être un champion, on peut se le permettre. Cette attitude permet de goûter l’instant présent pour ce qu’il procure de plaisir et d’émotions ; une forme de philosophie empirique de la vie qui consiste à vivre le présent ici et maintenant sans regretter le passé ni brûler de connaître l’avenir.

« Devenir Numéro Un trop tôt est une rude épreuve. Que se serait-il passé si j’avais gagné cette première finale ? J’aurais pu croire que mon objectif était atteint. Un mal pour un bien peut-être. Ça a gravé toute ma vie. » (Grégory Gaultier)

« Au départ, je n’ai pas eu l’intention de devenir Numéro Un. Cela s’est fait progressivement, étape après étape. Mon objectif était de profiter de chaque expérience afin d’être à chaque fois meilleur qu’avant. C’est cette attitude qui m’a amené à la victoire puis aux titres. » (Mathieu Baumel)

« Je n’ai pas pensé à devenir une championne. Je n’ai rien calculé, j’ai juste saisi des opportunités. Je ne me suis jamais fixé d’autre objectif que de grimper la marche qui était devant moi, et de travailler pour y arriver. » (Siraba Dembélé)

« Ma progression a été assez régulière et elle ne m’a pas paru longue. Probablement parce que les Jeux n’étaient pas un rêve d’enfant. Mon parcours s’est construit au fil du temps, et j’ai franchi des étapes sans avoir eu l’ambition ni ce rêve de gosse d’être une championne. J’ai commencé à rêver des jeux Olympiques, lorsque je suis entrée en équipe de France, en 2006, lorsque j’ai fait mon premier quota pour les Jeux. » (Charline Picon)

« Ma progression a été régulière, malgré les petits pépins et les blessures. J’ai juste eu un arrêt étant jeune, dû à un problème de croissance. Cette progression régulière et naturelle a été une chance, ça m’a aidée. Je n’ai pas le souvenir d’avoir voulu être championne de ski. Même si ma mère me dit qu’à l’âge de 7 ans je le lui ai dit. Mais je ne m’en souviens pas. Chaque étape m’a permis d’avancer dans cette voie mais comme une suite logique. Je n’ai pas calculé ma carrière, j’ai avancé sans me projeter, jusqu’au moment où je me suis retrouvée au départ d’une coupe du monde. Et même là, je n’ai pas trop réalisé. C’est lorsque j’ai gagné quelques compétitions nationales que, ne pouvant aller plus haut, j’ai commencé à vouloir être une championne. C’est à partir de ce moment-là que j’ai ressenti de la pression. » (Tessa Worley)

Les champions sportifs sont dans une quête insatiable de progrès. Quelle est la signification de cette recherche ? Est-ce seulement parce que les progrès rapprochent du but ? Pas seulement. Sinon seul le résultat compterait. Il est nécessaire mais pas suffisant. Le progrès est source d’accomplissement et la démarche est intérieure, elle permet de se rapprocher de ses limites, et comme ces limites sont indéfinissables, les progrès permettent de tendre vers l’absolu qui prend sa source dans l’imaginaire.

Progrès, désir et plaisir sont liés. Sans progrès le désir et le plaisir s’estompent.

 

How should a coach handle the emotions?

A question from a coach. To manage our emotions… What have I to do?
First recognize them, then work on them. Could it be useful to talk with other colleagues who can help me with an external, more objective view of my emotional reactions?

An action plan in 6 points:

  1. Comparison with colleagues on how to handle disappointment rather than enthusiasm is useful.
  2. It is decisive to accept what we feel at that moment, even if we don’t like it.
  3. Only assess our behavior in that situation and never extend it to our person in global terms.
  4. Reflecting on alternative ways of reacting to the event for which we are, for example, angry
  5. Decide how to behave the next time a similar situation arises
  6. The use of abdominal breathing, paying particular attention to lengthen the exhalation phase (counting up to 7), can be useful to regain self-control.

Mindfulness can reduce the burnout

Chunxiao Li et al., (2019).Mindfulness and Athlete Burnout: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis. Int. J. Environ. Res. Public Health 2019, 16(3), 449.

This review aims to identify, appraise, and synthesize studies reporting the relationship between mindfulness and athlete burnout and the effects of mindfulness-based interventions (MBIs) on athlete burnout. few variables may account for the relationship between mindfulness and athlete burnout.

Gustafsson et al. (2015) found that mindfulness had an indirect effect on athlete burnout through negative/positive affect. As negative affect has been viewed as an indicator of burnout susceptibility (Lemyre et al. 2006), mindfulness is likely to prevent burnout through adjusting athletes’ affect. Zhang and colleagues (2016) proposed another possible mechanism. They claimed that athletes with high levels of mindfulness tend to have low levels of experiential avoidance (i.e., willingness to avoid negative experience because of the distress brought on by the experience, which may in turn minimize the maladaptive influences of stressors and other negative factors on burnout.