Tag Archive for 'frustrazione'

Enjoy the journey and not the result

We live in the culture of instant gratification. When we want something, we want it immediately. This has resulted in a significant lowering of our frustration tolerance level. Often the young people I meet get angry with themselves if they don’t improve right away and when they make mistakes, they feel incapable because they haven’t learned yet.

In our culture we place too much importance on the outcome and much less on the path to get there. We should learn to stop this race to the result. Instead, let us learn to love the journey in which we are immersed. Athletes often act as if an elementary school child wants to write a paper like a high school kid. It’s a nice dream, but let’s not mistake it for reality.

The same goes for people my age, over60, who think they train as if they were 30 or 40 years old. After a series of physical problems that prevented me from training for three years, and after resuming for about six months, I realized the need to reset my thinking and start again with a mindset appropriate to the years I am living and find pleasure in this project. So, it is not just a matter of following a proper training program for a person over60 who has been stationary for three years, but of adapting the mindset to this real condition and gaining satisfaction from the flow of the days engaged in this physical, athletic and mental training. Never think “I used to do it this way, why can’t I do it?” That would be the road to failure. The positive and optimistic idea is exactly the opposite: “I am doing what I enjoy and what makes me feel good.” This mental approach combined with practice results in improvement over time and allows me to meet the goals I set out to achieve.

In this way, I focus on the daily practice and listen to myself to prepare for what I have decided to do. The pleasure is in feeling the changes that take place, mental and physical, that occur as a result of training. In fact, gradually not only the body but also the mind is shaped by the type of activity to be done. For example, in the beginning running was very tiring, you go slow and feel heavy, so I picked up like any beginner by alternating running and walking for 5/6 km. On the other hand, I did not rely on memories of me being a marathon runner, having run more than 50, or of someone who had run the 100 km Passatore. This second approach would lead me to injury and convince me that running was no longer suitable for me. With this mental approach and a proper variety of workouts in a few months I came to run 40k a week in three sessions. So, one rule over all I learned: train with an intensity that allows you to train the next day as well. Currently I train 5 days a week, once only physical training, once cycling and three running. Always 30 minutes of free body before each workout. I enjoy it. Where I will get to doesn’t matter to me; I like to find out week by week.

Tolerate the frustration to win

Tennis is a sport in which the winning player is who tolerate better the frustration of mistake. In fac, it’s a game in which approximately every 30 seconds one point is allocated to one of two players and this is repeated for at least 100 times in a match, and often even more. Therefore, every 30 seconds a player is satisfied for the point in his favor while the other is frustrated to have sent out his shots or not to have been able to respond to the opponent’s shot. This situation is repeated for a long period of time, not less than 90 minutes and often much more. You can win while committing many mistakes, some not forced by the opponent. Who does not learn to tolerate the discomfort caused by the error is likely to lose the game.

The frustration comes from not having put in one ball despite many hours of training … Is that wrong in having this mood? Absolutely nothing. Therefore, we must not fight this feeling, we must be aware without fear and to tolerate it. It’s obvious that no one is happy to be wrong … but the players has to know that she can win in court while wrong, tennis is not a sport of precision, but the match goes to the player who commits fewer errors than the opponent … therefore a deep breath and go play next point, confident in training that has been conducted.

The  must not play the point as if it were your last, because in this way the competitive pressure increases and you play with the fear of making mistakes (the arm of the tennis player). We must accept to be afraid, tolerate their mistakes even though it is annoying, use the mind to show on the field behaviors that transmit themselves conviction and retain the opponent under pressure though was in the lead.

Tennis is a fast game based on the physical and mental shape and the player’s game quality  … but it is also a game requiring patience and  not to think have have won or lost the match after half an hour of play, knowing it will be much longer. Only who combines these skills is bound to have a successful career.

He’s patient  only who after a mistake does not acceletare his game  to recover timmediately the disadvantage or otherwise slows it down with the intention to take fewer risks. It will show the patient only who accepts the frustration derived from error, reporting immediately the mind on how to play effectively the next point, basing this belief on what she learned in training and competition.

The tennis player is a man or woman of action that in the pauses between points is transformed for a few moments in a thinker who has to solve the problem of the next game.

What do you want for you? 4 questions to know it

Three questions are important for those who want to get the best from themselves.

  • What have I done so far to get the best of me?
  • What am I willing to do to improve the most?
  • What do I want to do tomorrow to start to do my best?
  • What frustrations am I willing to accept?

These questions are important for everyone. If you are a coach are useful to know you better and to guide you in the profession. If you are an athlete are helpful to take your life in your hands and decide if you want to succeed and how much you want to challenge you to get it. If you are a professional (psychologist, doctor, physiotherapist, manager) are useful to know what the sport represents for you; a hobby or an essential part of self-realization as a person and how much you’re willing to live in a state of continuous improvement.

Educate the youth to the daily life

The main task that should absolve the parents  is to educate their children in the sense of reality. I say this because among young athletes is not well developed, and often these young have totally unrealistic expectations, because they are not based on what they are to do but on what they want to achieve. Unfortunately, this way of thinking is already present in boys and girls 11/12 years. On the tennis courts are seen kids slamming their racket to the ground or kicking, swearing against themselves or get depressed after having made ​​a mistake. In every sport you see parents that when their sons make mistakes, they give some advice to remove even that small anxiety that comes after an error. I’s an educational anxiety that drives to find the solution by themselves but instead it was not taken them this opportunity to learn from mistakes. The parents in this way prevent young to grow, to understand they value as athletes and to react autonomously to the difficulties. How many parents calmly say: “you were wrong, it’s fine, work to improve, keep trying and do your best, everything else does not matter.” You do not win a race because you wants to win. The winning mentality is to those who strive to do their best despite the mistakes that surely will commit during the race. Young need to be educated to engage and appreciate themselves for what they do and not for the results they achieve. The parents, in turn, must accept that their children make errors because only in this way the kids will learn to appreciate their improvements and the effort they did.

Sports are tough games

  • More events lost than won – always fight
  • Failure + Frustration are part of the game
  • A lot of time to think: Boredom and worries
  • 3 or 4 moments become critical in every competitions
  • Control of performance processes not the results
  • Athletes must be focus to win/perform/learn