How to learn to be confident

Mourinho, after Roma’s defeat against Juventus, talked about the lack of personality of his team’s players. It’s an issue of paramount importance for anyone who wants to achieve challenging goals. Today many people have this problem. You can also have a positive self-esteem, which consists of the value we place on ourselves as people, but have little confidence at the same time. It is possible, because confidence is skill-driven and reflects the optimism of knowing how to deal with specific situations and circumstances in a seemingly spontaneous way. It is more easily influenced by external events and, therefore, is modifiable depending on the situations being experienced. I have met several athletes who are motivated, focused, competent but lack confidence.

Confidence is like a crystal glass, beautiful and fragile.

Usually in these athletes their actual competence is higher than the degree of confidence in it. They have difficulty drawing optimistic explanations from their successful experiences, thus not nurturing the growth of their confidence.

Positive psychology is very clear on this point, we need to set aside global explanations for the mistakes we make. This happens when we tell ourselves “I’ll never understand, I always make the same mistakes” or “same mistake again, I don’t learn”. Whereas we need to be committed, thinking that mistakes show the way to improve, so let’s accept them and commit to doing things differently. It has to become an automatic way of thinking and to make it happen you have to do it, someone learns more quickly for others it will take months.

The question is, “When I am in the situations that are most important to me, what do I want my dominant thought to be? And what do I do?”

For this to happen in the race, this way of being must already be inside the athlete, not invented on the spot. It must always be practiced in training, it must become a spontaneous way of thinking and acting.

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