A few days ago I get a call from a parent asking me how to convince his son to quit football, because, according to him, it does not seem the sport for him. He is mocked for his poor skills and begin to lose confidence in himself. The child is 10 years old, he loves football and have fun, but obviously not enough, and unfortunately the world of youth football, in many situations, doesn’t excel in understanding and space for everyone.
I have advised the parent to change perspective, to look at what was happening as a formative episode in which his task had to be to help your child to think about his sporting and emotional needs. I advised him to listen to him, but mostly I asked him to look through the eyes of those who believe in him and in his ability. the indispensable prerequisite for the child to believe in themselves and in their abilities, is that parents believe in him.
The episode gave me the opportunity to reflect on the difficulties that many parents face in supporting their children in sport and, for this reason, I find it useful to share some basic rules:
- Listen: Put aside for a moment their ideas and listen what they have to say
- Teach to tolerate frustration
- Leave space for personal ideas of his own son about persons and situations
- Understand their expectations regarding the child
- Encourage to cope with the difficulties
- Reward the new learning
- First support the commitment, second the results
- Help them to understand that the improvement and commitment go hand in hand
- Talk about sport accepting its requirements
- Respect and support their emotional needs
The little football player probably in September will be a littlle water polo player (because that is what the mother wants). If this choice is not only the desire of a parent, but it will come from an inner development of the child then the his sport track will be positive and his self-esteem will do an important step forward.
(By Daniela Sepio)
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