Coach the youth’s emotions

After the Champions League defeat Simeone, the coach of Atletico Madrid,  said that: ” you can win by losing if you play at your best.” It’s a key concept for the development of an athlete and it should be taught until the first day that a child starts one sport. On the contrary, we see young people who just made ​​a mistake they get angry with themselves or get depressed. We know that this happens for the conjunction of different reasons: the parents are distracted and do not give much weight to these behaviors, the coaches are more focused on teaching the technique rather than emotionally to train athletes and the young people themselves also are not good at expressing their emotions and to take care of themselves in a positive way. And so, I look every day tennis players slamming their racket to the ground after a little mistake, alternating moods of depression and anger against them or in other sports in which after one mistake they made ​​a repeat others, because they are dominated by frustration. To change this way of life setbacks and mistakes parents and coaches must be more aware of their role as emotional-coaches and the need to work with their children and athletes to change these behaviors. We must not impose our solutions of adults to their problems. We must instead listen empathetically without to judge, so as to feel supported and respected in their moods. Only after this stage we should start talking about what could be done differently, giving time to express their ideas and for us to express our own. Acting in this way takes time and often it’s this reason that adults do not follow this path. But we must be aware that if we often act in this manner, the young people will begin to think that their reactions are not interesting  for their parents and coaches, and worse they will still continue to behave in a negative way. If we want our children develop the ability to effectively manage their daily stresses,  we have to spend the time to teach them how to behave, feel and think in those moments.